Moose Milk

This Christmas Day there shall be no cooking in #ParlezPantry, that seems somewhat ironic in that I have only just got this site sorted but due to family reasons we’re off to the in-laws this year, we normally alternate between locations; it’s no big thing as it is, after all, only 20 minutes down the road, but in terms of sanctuary and peace it is a world away, deep in the rural heartland of Somerset.

No, this year I have been given instructions to simply own the cheese board and provide a cocktail for the afternoon. The cheese board is in the making, piece by piece, as I come across a fine example.

The cocktail, I have chosen however, is one that I have not personally tasted since 1995. I can be quite specific because that was the year that I left Ramstein Air Base* (Rheinland-Pfalz, southern Germany), during one of my NATO tours and ceased working with a great bunch of Royal Canadian Air Force (RCAF) fellas. During that 3 year tour we had an annual event at the Ruppertsweiler Underground Facility (RUF), just down the road from the old Hitler Youth HQ (don’t tell Ken Livingstone). The event required each contingent to produce “whatever each nation does best”. Needless to say the Brits built a Tudor pub, complete with draught taps and heraldic shields.

Moose Milk

Moose Milk

The Germans provided the bratties, the Belgians the pils, the Dutch the ladies and the Canucks provided what can only be described as a very welcome addition, Moose Milk. I’d first tasted it whilst visiting Supreme Headquarters Allied Powers Europe (SHAPE) but that was many years previous.

I was given the recipe at the time with the intention of making it as the guys did, in rather large camping ice boxes, but due to multiple house moves over the years I misplaced the card with the details on it. Only recently did it emerge from the depths of my garage.
I’ll be giving it a dry run this week and blogging the result (the ingredients below may change depending on how the age old recipe works out). As this shall be made up in a large ice box simply stir as each ingredient is added and double up across the board if you need to increase the volume.
There are as many variations on the recipe as there are those whom enjoy it, many of them with a dozen egg yolks but that was not how I was taught. That said, however, as with all things according to #ParlezPantry Rule 4. Recipe: No matter what a recipe states, ALWAYS mature each dish according to your taste, cook longer, cook less, add more, add less, you are the one serving your creation, stand by your work.
In true Blue Peter style you will need:

  • 1.2 litres of Dark Rum (brand is entirely your choice but NOT the spiced variety)
  • 1 litre of Kahlua (I’d avoid Tia Maria or Baileys as Kahlua has a much greater depth of flavour)
  • 1.2 litres of Vodka
  • 4 litres of Vanilla Ice Cream (when blended you still want some lumps in the cocktail so avoid any soft-scoop variety)
  • 3 litres of Semi-Skimmed milk
  • 1 Mug of Strong Black, Cold Coffee
  • Freshly Grated Nutmeg and Cinnamon

A word of caution spotted elsewhere on the Web: Within anything from a few minutes to an hour after imbibing on Moose Milk you will begin to feel the benefits. Initially a mild feeling of euphoria will overtake you as your metabolism increases its efficiency. Within a very short period thereafter, you will note various other benefits including a massive increase in confidence, pride, intelligence and magnetism to the opposite sex. There are only two possible negative side effects and they can be avoided by following these warnings:

If you feel the urge to paw the ground and run head long into a member of the opposite sex? Resist.
Despite the strong cravings you will undoubtedly feel for more moose milk, under no circumstances should you attempt to milk a moose on your own; this job is strictly for the professionals.
Give it a shot, you will likely be most pleasantly surprised.
* If you’ve ever visited you will no doubt have sampled Woodlawn, a damn fine golf course and equally been at the mercy of the Mackenbach road which for god only knows what reason, regardless of how the ball lies on the green, it shall ALWAYS roll towards the Mackenbach road; that’s just plain weird.

Author: Ghyllfoot

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